force fed, force mixed till I drop dead

smoke, coffee and outside. the only 3 things that feed my brain just enough to make me function like a human being. even then- it's a struggle. 

Absolute exhaustion. I've never felt so dead in my entire life. I have made so much work this year it's unreal. I cannot even begin to explain how much I've learned in my freshman year at SAIC. My life has completely changed. There are no words to explain how grateful I am to be at this school, with this faculty, and in this city. Gratitude to whatever is sending all of this my way. Gratitude. 

It's bitter sweet. Freshman year is just about over and I am in the midst of final collections and 15 page essays. At this point the work load doesn't bother me, the expectations do not bother me. I have become a well oiled art school machine. Recently, I was nominated by one of my amazing instructors to submit a portfolio to SAIC's Contemporary Practices department in hopes of winning an additional $15,000 in scholarship. There were only 15-20 students selected to apply so I am beyond honored and EVEN MORE grateful. ALSO- Opening night for SAIC's annual Art Bash was last weekend and I am proud to say that my 8 foot baby (mix media sculpture) got a lot of positive attention and feed back! In that same weekend my beautiful BFF, Tessa Mania, and I signed on an apartment in Gold Coast- 3 fucking blocks from the beach! What the fucking fuck. How in the hell did all of this happen to me in one year. 

It does't stop there kids.

Earlier tonight while volunteering at the SAIC's annual Fashion Show (absolutely amazing by the way. absolutely. amazing.) I had the opportunity to hear Cynthia Rowley speak after being awarded SAIC's Honorary Alumni award. I was also her usher and got to seat her, Bill Powers, and Nick Cave on the front row. WHAT THE FUCK.

And even more- last week I bought my Lolla ticket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Black Sabbath, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jack White, The Black Keys, Justice, Franz Ferdinand, Die Antwoord, Star Slinger, Neon Indian, Little Dragon, Santigold. sounds chill. 

yeah. shits goin good.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

et

i bet it's gonna be a while, kid

hello hello !
everything has been absolute INSANITY the last couple of weeks.
school schooooollll art art art wine wine apartment hunting more apartment hunting
ugh so much. AND IT'S ABOUT TO GET WORSE. I was accepted into SAIC's annual
Artbash freshman showcase and hopefully I will be accepted twice over. My performance
proposal is still being processed but HOPEFULLY that will be accepted too!
Acceptance to Artbash's "alternate space" means I have to make a new piece that is sight
specific to my installation space. I was assigned a large wall space
and told to create a 5 by 5 foot sculptural wall piece within my sculptural aesthetic.
COOL MORE WORK- but yipeeee i'm succeeding!
Amidst Artbash hysteria I have also been making LOTS of videos which I will have up on my web site soon (www.cargocollective.com/thetides) and am currently preparing to be slapped in the face with huge final projects and collections.
I'm just bracing myself for the hurricane of work, blood, sweat and tears.

Like I mentioned earlier my 2 room mates and I have been mad apartment hunting so naturally I've been collecting decorative inspiration... cannot wait cannot wait cannot wait.

eeeeeeeeek!

et

all consuming space

Ernesto Nato

Multi medium sculpture/installation artist

What a BAMF.

I'm running out of ideas.

I'm making too many videos.

filming my footage for artbash TOMORROW. 

SPRING BREAK WHERE THE SHIT ARE YOU.

et

all but a single inch

So inspired right now. FINALLY.
SAIC's freshman showcase, ArtBash, is coming up in April and I've
been so stressed out about submitting my proposal and what not. Not
everybody gets a space to show their work, so it gets pretty competitive.
I've come up with a multi medium piece consisting of a video, an installation,
a sculpture and performance. I usually work just in sculpture and printmedia-
SO THIS IS A HUGE JUMP FOR ME and I'm very excited.
I ran all of the details by one of my professors today and she LOVED IT.
i mean LOVED IT.
Cant wait. Now I just have to make it.......
fingers crossed.

Who has never killed an hour? Not casually or without thought, but carefully: 

a premeditated murder of minutes. The 

violence 

comes from a combination of giving up, not caring, and a resignation

that getting past it is all you can hope to accomplish. 

So you kill the hour. 

You do not work, you do not read, you do not daydream. 

If you sleep it is not because you need to sleep. 

And when at last it is over, 

there is no evidence:

no weapon, 

no blood,

and no body. 

The only clue might be the shadows beneath your eyes or a terribly thin line near the corner of your mouth indicating something has been suffered, that in the privacy of your life you have lost something and the loss is too empty to share.

House of Leaves

and now, my dearest. it is red wine time.

xoxoxoxoxo

et

cold to the bone

The Head and the Heart
Coeur D'Alene


Wind-blown whispers wind naked down the corridor
Thoughts leavin' my head, they twist through yours
What will become of these gestures that we made
I've given up my Bible, you moved out of state

Wearily waitin' on the wastin' of his days
A sad son's smoldering soul
Give you three bucks for your sympathy and another for a cigarette
The interaction feels so cold

Oh the songs people will sing for home
And for the ones that have been gone for too long
But oh the things people will do for the ones that they love

We're only here to find the love that lingers after
The moment
So kiss me in the back room where the music plays
I know that it's not over

But oh the songs people will sing for home
And for the ones that have been gone for too long
Oh the things people will do for the ones that they love

Break down the corridors

Messes that I haven't tried to clean up in a while

You're in my soul now
You've gotta waste away with me
My mind's made up, I'm stayin' here with you

There's no use knowin'
Which way the wind is blowin'
My mind's made up, I'm doin' this, I'm doin' this with you

There's no use knowin'
Which way the wind is blowin'
My mind's made up, I'm doin' this, I'm doin' this

You're in my soul now
You've gotta waste away with me

Well. I may possibly be going to Bonaroo? fuck yeah. 

I have been busy busy busy with work. Experimental film, gesture drawing and 

20th century art history has been captivating most of my life. 

That and wine induced cat naps.

et

sittin' sippin' on your black crystal

Eiko Ishioka

Surrealist costume designer for major Hollywood productions

such as Mirror Mirror (so excited for that film) and Dracula.

As seen on 'www.nowness.com'

FINALLY feeling inspired. I've been completely and totally overwhelmed by the amount of long term projects I've been assigned. I finally feel on fire again, thank god. It's been a while. Ideas on ideas on ideas. This weekend will be a good one. Beauty Bar, Flea Markets, beginning the production of my FIRST EXPERIMENTAL FILM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and of course the Super Bowl. Come Sunday I'll be swimming in cheap beer and football. My Southern football crazed family is so proud that their artsy freak is finally in the Super Bowl spirit <3
stay tuned for updates on my projects!

et

while the air was getting thicker

back in chicago.
right in the nick of time. maybe 3 or 4 days too late.
maybe. everything is fuzzy.

maybe.

et

bound by the surprise of our glory days

information over load. 

i think it's time to go. 

nostalgia is like the plague.

on a lighter note...

I enrolled in yet ANOTHER class at the SAIC today.

It is called Curating and Programming in Film and Installation 

eeeeeekkkkkkkk!!!!!! so good. That is on top of my 6 hour sculpture and media class, 

6 hour figure drawing class, 6 hour research class, and 6 hour core class. 

Oh and a 3 hour 20th century art history class as well. we'll see if i survive this semester...

Surprisingly- I am ready to get back to work. 

I miss not sleeping, not eating, constant stress, feeling like 

there aren't enough hours in the days, weekends in bars, museums and

vintage stores with my just-as-crazy just-as-ambitious

BEAUTIFUL art kids. Feeling like I have a purpose. 

As a highly reactive and self destructive art student- if I stay in one 

non productive place for too long I will surely go fucking insane.

It's happening. Although I have LOVED spending time in Austin with

my crazy family (including my beautiful puppy Thea Pearl) best friends, 

and Austin's notorious and hyper active art/party/music scene...

I need me some Michigan Avenue <3

et

and i'll go further than the moon itself

eeeekkkkkkkk I found this beauty while doing one of my weekly 4 hour trips to Barnes and Noble. I've seen this magazine on a couple of blogs but I am very proud and excited to own the first issue. Costed me a fortune, but completely worth it. Hunger's first edition features some AMAZING models and photographers. 

Sky Ferreira. Milla Jovovich. Heidi Klum. I mean come on people. 

sosososososo beautiful- cannot wait to indulge. 

Being home has been good. I've made good decisions. I'm actually HAPPY. 

how rare. 

Although Ausin, TX has treated me well I am looking forward to getting back to work in Chibaby. I miss the cold and the lights and the parties and the crazy friends and the fashion and MICHIGAN AVENUE. Cosmos, Chanel window shopping, cold dorm rooms and mal nutrition here I come.

SO excited about next semester. I've got a completely new outlook on things and i'm ready to fuckin' rock kids. Stay tuned.

xoxoxooxoxoxoxxxxxxxx

et

immensity

Gareth Pugh
wowwowowowowowow wow wow

mmmmm fashion.

I recently received the syllabus for next semester's sculpture class from my professor!
The class will mainly be focused around creating public film and installations based
on readings of Freud, Jorge Luis Borges etc etc as well avant garde films and artists.
sooooooooooooo fucking excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
School of the Art Institute of Chicago <3

xxxxxx

et