force fed, force mixed till I drop dead

smoke, coffee and outside. the only 3 things that feed my brain just enough to make me function like a human being. even then- it's a struggle. 

Absolute exhaustion. I've never felt so dead in my entire life. I have made so much work this year it's unreal. I cannot even begin to explain how much I've learned in my freshman year at SAIC. My life has completely changed. There are no words to explain how grateful I am to be at this school, with this faculty, and in this city. Gratitude to whatever is sending all of this my way. Gratitude. 

It's bitter sweet. Freshman year is just about over and I am in the midst of final collections and 15 page essays. At this point the work load doesn't bother me, the expectations do not bother me. I have become a well oiled art school machine. Recently, I was nominated by one of my amazing instructors to submit a portfolio to SAIC's Contemporary Practices department in hopes of winning an additional $15,000 in scholarship. There were only 15-20 students selected to apply so I am beyond honored and EVEN MORE grateful. ALSO- Opening night for SAIC's annual Art Bash was last weekend and I am proud to say that my 8 foot baby (mix media sculpture) got a lot of positive attention and feed back! In that same weekend my beautiful BFF, Tessa Mania, and I signed on an apartment in Gold Coast- 3 fucking blocks from the beach! What the fucking fuck. How in the hell did all of this happen to me in one year. 

It does't stop there kids.

Earlier tonight while volunteering at the SAIC's annual Fashion Show (absolutely amazing by the way. absolutely. amazing.) I had the opportunity to hear Cynthia Rowley speak after being awarded SAIC's Honorary Alumni award. I was also her usher and got to seat her, Bill Powers, and Nick Cave on the front row. WHAT THE FUCK.

And even more- last week I bought my Lolla ticket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Black Sabbath, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jack White, The Black Keys, Justice, Franz Ferdinand, Die Antwoord, Star Slinger, Neon Indian, Little Dragon, Santigold. sounds chill. 

yeah. shits goin good.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

et

delete

Spike heels make a hole in a lifeboat
Jump, and I'm talking and laughing as we float
I hear a whistle, that's how I know she's home

Lipstick, eyelash, broke mirror, broken home

Force fed, force mixed 'till I drop dead
You can't defeat her, when you meet her you'll be what I said
And lord knows there's a method to her madness
Bustin' those jokes as I float in a sea of sadness

She doesn't know but when she's gonna sit and drink up a few
I'm sure she's drinkin two, but wondering what for and who
And I'm solo rollin'. I'm one side off the boat.
Looking out, throwing up, a lifesaver down my throat


-Jack Fucking White






Home in 30 ish days. fuuuuuck.
I want to stay in this state of mind. Forever. Accomplish everything. Everyday. More scholarships more shows more art. I crash and burn when I come out of focus. It's part of my personality, i'm addicted to adrenaline. I enjoy being exhausted and feeling like I could fall the fuck over every 15 seconds and knowing that I'm going everywhere but back. Yeah.


I'll sleep when I'm dead.

et

i bet it's gonna be a while, kid

hello hello !
everything has been absolute INSANITY the last couple of weeks.
school schooooollll art art art wine wine apartment hunting more apartment hunting
ugh so much. AND IT'S ABOUT TO GET WORSE. I was accepted into SAIC's annual
Artbash freshman showcase and hopefully I will be accepted twice over. My performance
proposal is still being processed but HOPEFULLY that will be accepted too!
Acceptance to Artbash's "alternate space" means I have to make a new piece that is sight
specific to my installation space. I was assigned a large wall space
and told to create a 5 by 5 foot sculptural wall piece within my sculptural aesthetic.
COOL MORE WORK- but yipeeee i'm succeeding!
Amidst Artbash hysteria I have also been making LOTS of videos which I will have up on my web site soon (www.cargocollective.com/thetides) and am currently preparing to be slapped in the face with huge final projects and collections.
I'm just bracing myself for the hurricane of work, blood, sweat and tears.

Like I mentioned earlier my 2 room mates and I have been mad apartment hunting so naturally I've been collecting decorative inspiration... cannot wait cannot wait cannot wait.

eeeeeeeeek!

et